Email:
Director of Operations
SDBIF@aol.com
P.O. Box 84601
San Diego, California
92138-4601
(619) 294-6541
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TESTIMONIAL - Vinnie and Dee Bartsch
Care Giving – Seeing It through My Eyes
It all started in 2000. I started working in the private sector after completing a successful 20 year career in the US Navy. My wife, Dee, was working in the printing industry. Because of extreme pain she was experiencing, we knew she needed back surgery. In November, 2000, she went into routine back surgery and the surgery went well as far as we were told. It appeared like the surgery did the job of relieving her of all that pain she had experienced. Sometime during the evening before I was suppose to pick her up from the hospital, she threw a clot from her left carotid artery and suffered a stroke. The hospital did everything they could to stabilize her and get her to the point where she could be discharged. I had a very hard time trying to make sense of it all and felt I was not helped by the hospital. My workplace supported me. My supervisor and co-workers helped me throughout the whole ordeal.
The first year was very hard as Dee had many appointments with doctors, therapists and later trips to our attorney. Since we felt the stroke was caused due to negligence by others, we contacted a good attorney that took Dee’s case on contingency. After hearing the results of Dee’s psych test from a Sharp Health Care physician, we were not satisfied with their prognosis: that Dee would plateau after a couple of years and that would be pretty much it for the rest of her life. Dee finally found out there was a free program for Brain Injury survivors called ABI – Acquired Brain Injury at Mesa College. In January, 2002, she started taking classes thanks to a wonderful guy by the name of Scott Bankston. From those classes not only did she learn a lot about the brain and have the opportunity to interact with other brain injury survivors, she passed along to me what she learned and the strategies she learned to help herself. Since I did my best to be thoughtful and to help her with everything she needed, getting this information from her thru ABI really helped me out. About that time we started going to meetings for brain injury being held by the San Diego Brain Injury Foundation. I collected information from those meetings and felt the information was very useful in understanding brain injury.
I knew my patience was being tested daily by everything going on with Dee and her injury, but between ABI and those SDBIF meetings, I felt I was actually getting help. To offset everything I was going through with Dee, I resorted to my favorite hobby of fishing. Getting out and fishing allowed me to relax, regroup myself and think clearly on how to be more helpful to Dee. Then, in September, 2003, Dee’s mom suffered a brain aneurysm while doing yoga. All responsibilities regarding how to care for Dee’s mom rested solely on Dee. Dee needed help and found it with the Southern Care Givers Resource Center. She found out about this resource center thru the ABI program. The Southern Care Givers Resource Center gave Dee lots of things to help her as a care giver to her mom and dad as well.
In 2004, the case regarding Dee happened with results not favoring us. It was devastating and because of that we had no choice but to go into bankruptcy. We survived it and completed it last year. In August, 2008, we moved to a small apartment near Lake Murray in San Diego.
Today, the SDBIF Couple’s Group in San Diego is one of the things both Dee and I enjoy as we are with other couples in similar situations and we can bounce ideas off of each other to help us out. Great topics are talked about and we all leave these gatherings knowing more information that can help us in day to day living. I found throughout everything I have gone through, having the patience I have made the difference in sticking with someone who I truly feel is my best friend and soul mate. Along with that, being observant and using good censorship, has allowed me to better our relationship.
I am also involved with several veterans’ associations. In 1991, I joined the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) and that same year I converted to a life membership. I also entered into the honor degree of the VFW and got involved with veterans staying at the Long Beach VA hospital. In 2009, I changed my VFW post from Long Beach to Mission Valley. Doing this got me back with others like me and this post also had a local group of honor degree members. This group of honor degree members spends time at the La Jolla VA medical Center and Naval Medical Center San Diego. My goal is to chat with wounded veterans, be there to listen to them, talk with family members and let them all know there are great resources here in San Diego that everyone can benefit from.
The experience I have acquired from Dee and her Mom is something I want to share with veterans and their families so they can benefit from what I have seen. Having patience, being understanding, thinking before saying, being observant and taking time out for you is essential in being a responsible care giver.
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