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You help a lot, even when you help a little. |
People in Progress
Featuring Bob Kuhn
Q: How long ago did you have your stroke?
A: 16 long years ago. May 27th 1983. It isn’t a fond day in my life.
Q: No. But we
never forget the date do we? What was your life like at the time?
A: I was a welder/fabricator and I thought I was invincible. I was working 70 hours a week, smoking cigarettes and I was drinking 2 six packs of beer everyday after work. I was driving between 40 and 60 miles a day, one-way, to work. I was building a ranch up a little valley between Ramona and Santa Isabel with my wife and 3 kids.
Q: Did you ever
get that ranch finished?
A: I lost it in the divorce. She got the mine, I got the shaft, so to speak.
Q: What was
your recovery from the stroke like?
A: I can’t even tell you how long I was in the hospital to tell you the honest-to-God truth, but boy, was I glad to get out.
Q: So you had
the stroke and that, obviously, changed everything.
A: Just took a different road. Now I’m on a different path. It’s a good path.
Q: Can you
describe the path you’re on now?
A: For one thing I’m into sports now more than I ever was. Handcycling, swimming. Hopefully I’ll be in the 2000 Paralympics. I’m just 6 seconds off qualifying for that. Sydney, Australia. And I’ve been doing a lot of volunteering for the Department of Parks and Recreation here in San Diego. I like to keep busy.
Q: You like to
keep busy, but it’s more than just keeping busy. You’re contributing.
A: I’m trying to help those that need it in the minor way that I can help. Providing transportation for them. I do a lot of driving. I just got done with the US Open Wheelchair Tennis Tournament driving shuttle. I drove athletes from the hotel to the tennis court, back and forth. When I’m behind the wheel I’m in my element. I love to drive.
Q: I’ve known you
for a couple of years now and I’ve been impressed with your attitude of humor
and humility.
A: You can either be happy and enjoy yourself or you can be miserable, and be miserable. I choose to be happy and enjoy myself. And it makes people around you happy too. That’s important. Nobody likes to see an old grump. My philosophy is that 98% of life is your attitude. And if it’s a good attitude then you’re a hell of a lot better off. And if it’s a bad attitude you’re hurting everybody, including yourself. This is an attitude that has come along with the stroke. Working with people with disabilities has really opened my eyes a lot.
Q: How so?
A: Like this YESS (Young Enthusiastic Stroke Survivors) group. There’s what, over 400 people in the group and there’s not 2 of them that are exactly the same. But, if you were to take any problem that you can possibly think of, somebody else has had it and conquered it. There’s a solution to any problem that you can have just through the wisdom of other people in the group. You get to draw on each other’s wisdom and strength. And there’s a lot of strength out there. There’s a lot of weakness out there too, but then you’ve got to just let that go and focus on the good. This stroke has actually saved my life.
Q: How do you
mean?
A: Because I’d be dead now if it wasn’t for the stroke. I was on a downward spiral with all my drinking and smoking. Now I’m much healthier, not only physically, but between the ears. I’m looking to the future and not the past. You can’t dwell on the past. You’ll be ate up by the past.
Q: What do you see
in your future?
A: I see a lot of great things. My goal is to be the fastest one-arm swimmer in the world. And I’m close to it right now. I went to the US swimming disability championship in Minneapolis. There were 750 disabled athletes there and I was the oldest one—by 3 years. I won 3 gold medals and 1 silver. Set 2 American records in relay races.
Q: How did you get
started with all this?
A: I was swimming at Mesa College with Disabled Services, the adapted aquatics program, and my instructor said there was going to be a swim meet at their pool for United Cerebral Palsy, and volunteers were needed to help people and just to be there and do what you can to help these people because they’re all severely disabled. And I volunteered. And my Department of Rehabilitation Counselor was the starter. And at the end of the race he said “Bob, how come your not swimming in this?” I said I wouldn’t even know who to ask to get involved, but I’d love to. He gave me the name of someone to talk to. So I approached him and I said “I would love to swim on your swimming team.” He said it was too late for that year but he gave me his card and said to call him in February when they start up again. So I called him and he said to come to the plunge Saturday. I’ve been swimming with United Cerebral Palsy ever since. That was 4 years ago. I’ve won some gold medals and several silver and a few bronze.
Q: Can anyone with
a disability do what you are doing?
A: In Tucson, Arizona, I got the gold medal, another guy got the silver, and he was blind. Blew my mind. Stroke falls into the same functional category as Cerebral Palsy. We have a girl that swims on the team and she was a thalidomide baby. She has little bitty arms. She is a tremendous athlete. We have another girl that has been swimming for about 7 years and she was so bad that up until last year she was swimming with floatation devices on her. And she’s a world record holder with floatation devices. And this last year she got rid of the floatation devices and she’s still setting records. She’s unbelievable. The heart that these people have, and love and dedication that they have just blows your mind. It’s fantastic to see people that are so disabled they can’t even walk or talk get out there and swim in the water.
Q: As we are
talking about this it doesn’t sound like you’re having problems with your
thought processes. Can you contrast that, before and after?
A: I’m a dingbat now compared to what I used to be.
Q: Well you’re a stronger “dingbat.”
A: I just do the best that I can do. And hopefully, God willing, that’s good enough. I’ve lost some things but my empathy for people has gone sky high. My heart is open. Especially for people that have aphasia, speaking problems. Some very good friends of mine have aphasia and, you know, I have all the patience in the world. When they get excited I just say “take your time. We have all day. Just think about what you’re going to say.” One of the most frustrating things for them is when you try to second guess what they are saying. Because most of the time you’re going to guess wrong. What they want to say is very important. They are very intelligent people. It’s just that they have a disability and they can’t express themselves. But if you’re patient and you’re willing to sit there and let them fish for what they have to say then what comes out is very enlightening.
Q: Sounds like you
have learned patience and gained strength from your experiences after your
stroke.
A: If you just take your time and are patient anything is possible. If one thing doesn’t work you’ve got to experiment, try something different. But the thing is, you can never give up. Because if you gave up you might as well be dead. You’re not of any use to anybody, including yourself. Anything else can fail you, but don’t fail yourself.
