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You help a lot, even when you help a little. |
Barbara Welsh-Osga, Ph.D
Clinical & Consulting Psychologist
“Out of the Mist”
Dr. Welsh-Osga, a neuro-rehabilitation specialist, spoke
about survivors coming “out of the mist” after brain injury. Many brain
injury survivors feel “fuzzy-headed” as if they are in a fog. They feel in
the middle of something but do not see it clearly. Journeys out of the mist are
both painful and joyful. Different survivors take different paths and different
amounts of time to recover. Dr. Welsh-Osga thanked the survivors with whom she
has worked for sharing their insights and teaching her about courage and
strength.
Dr. Welsh-Osga explained that it is difficult for the
mind to know what the mind doesn’t
know. Sometimes brain injury survivors think they see things clearly but the
“mist” skews perceptions. They are like city smog-dwellers who forget clear
skies because they live most days in a fog. After brain injury, a survivor may
not be able to trust his or her own perceptions and memory. It is frustrating to
feel as though your perceptions are accurate, only to be corrected or
contradicted by those around you. This erodes self-confidence and often makes
survivors feel childish even though they know they are adults. “I’m 45 years
old and I don’t need someone to remind me!” This dynamic often results in
power struggles between survivors and their families and caretakers. Yet, the
support and guidance offered by family and friends can serve as a remarkable
compass through the mist.
Guidance out of the mist from family members and
caregivers is crucial for brain injury survivors. The problem for the brain
injury survivor is how to tell the difference between a good guide and a
misguided guide. Dr. Welsh-Osga noted that you can’t judge a guide by his or
her cover. Just because they have a title - parent, friend, teacher, doctor,
spouse - doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a good guide. She suggested that a
good guide has consistency, honesty, and positive motives. A good guide follows
through on promises. If a guides lies to others, the guide may lie to the
survivor. Beware of hidden motives. Voice doubts and see how the guide handles
answers. Unscrupulous guides take advantage of the mist. They may use memory
problems, impulsivity and poor judgment for financial fraud or sexual abuse.
Poor guides may also have good intentions, but controlling attitudes and poor
listening skills. Survivors should talk about new guides with faithful and
trusted guides such as parents and teachers.
A personal journal can help a survivor gain balance and
direction in the mist. Dr. Welsh-Osga suggested that survivors review their
journals periodically to remind themselves of the progress they’ve made
through the mist. It’s also good to share the journal with trusted guides.
Journalizing can give a survivor hope and pride. A journal also helps a survivor
to move on and not to linger in the mist. Sometimes survivors linger in the mist
because they are grief-stricken by all their loses. Dr. Welsh-Osga encouraged
survivors to keep moving forward because even more clarity will occur if they
continue to ask for guidance and confirmation from others. She ended her
presentation by reminding survivors of SDBIF member, Chuck Hansen’s poem, “Recovery unfolds as surely as dawn, spreading glory on shade, bathing
doubt with hope.”
