FEELINGS

The feelings family members experience during this crisis vary greatly, constantly change, occupy distinct time frames, but share one common feature - the entire spectrum of emotions are natural and normal.

Panic and fear can be overwhelming in the initial period after the injury. Some family members describe dizziness, shortness of breath, sleeping or eating disturbances, crying frequently, and/or feelings of numbness. Events and information may be difficult to recall and process during this period.

Anxiety and hope are feelings that will be continually linked during recovery, once the injured individual's medical status stabilizes. With each improvement, hope is fostered. The slow pace, complications, uncertainties of further progress fuel anxiety. An emotional roller coaster is unavoidably in place.

Denial is often present, and for some, represents a healthy defense system. Denial of what is truly happening protects an individual from the constant emotional pain they might otherwise be experiencing. This "reprieve" helps individuals gather their strength and perhaps provides energy to address more concrete tasks for their loved one and other family members. Denial can become problematic later on if unrealistic goals for recovery are set, despite information provided by the team, and if appropriate treatment and rehabilitation planning is interfered with.

Anger and guilt are frequently experienced, and often replace denial. Feelings of rage may be directed at the injured person for "allowing" the accident to occur. Other family members, hospital staff, manufacturers of automobiles or similar equipment they may associate with the injury, or God may be the recipient of the anger.

No matter how unreasonable, guilt similarly is felt. Family members, especially the parents of a young child or adolescent, believe that they should have somehow been able to prevent the injury. Loved ones are to be protected from physical harm. Guilt may later be associated with feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. There must be something more they could be doing to speed up the recovery process, to "fix" what is wrong.

Even when sleep patterns seem regular, fatigue is almost always felt. The stress and anxiety of the constant uncertainty, the physical and emotional demands of remaining involved at the hospital, at home, at work, are exhausting and take their toll. Loss of patience and irritability with those around you, usually those closest to you, may occur.

One of the most commonly expressed feelings throughout the recovery process is one of loss. Grieving occurs despite the survival of your loved one. These feelings may become more profound as physical, cognitive, and behavioral changes are more evident. Your loved one may be alive, may look "the same", but "is different". Sadness and grief are natural and often healthy reactions to this crisis, however family members may need help recognizing and understanding these feelings.